i tell myself all the time, as if i were giving advice to a friend, “close your eyes, breathe, you're tired, go to sleep - go youtube, medicate, distract your mind, but whatever you do, don’t think about how you are really sick.. . how you will ultimately be paralyzed, trapped in your own body. you won't be a burden. you won't be a burden. you won't be a... ." FUck, I'm thinking about it and that makes it real. NOt now, don’t think about the future, nor the past... just focus on today. these seconds and distract as needed. The mind creates what it needs out of desperation to cope. whether it’s ill or pleasant, who really knows, just as long as you cope. ‘cope’ means to deal effectively with something difficult. I googled it. I think I’m coping effectively, or at least i am really trying. trying not to think about it.

My Last Days: Meet Anthony - Introduction from Wayfarer Entertainment on Vimeo.